Book Review: Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood

What does pre-Nazism Berlin look like through the eyes of a British writer?
Goodbye to Berlin didn't impress me with a strong storyline or too many memorable characters.  Its real value lies in its simplicity. It carries the charm of its time and borrows some from Cabaret, and it's fantastic because it illustrates the human interactions and understanding from that time. The political references are brought down to plain minimum, which highlights the personal story and how detached it can be from the events happening around. It comes to show that it's the people we meet, know, and love that make up our story - not the times in which we live.
At one point the book seems almost silly - there are all the tensions from the fraction between Communism and Nazism, there are the economic difficulties following the Wall Street crash, there are the foundations of the killing anti-semitism that will later lead to the Holocaust, and there is the narrator, who's impressed by a cabaret singer and a wanna-be actress. It's almost ridiculous. But then you continue reading, and you reach the last chapter, and you start to understand a truth about people, which is hard to explain. It's never told out right, but it's there - underlining every word and outlined in a frame of laughter. And then you remember the whole story that History tells and how only History will finish this book, which ends all too quickly.

Short Story: A Game

I walked into a room only to discover there was nothing in it for me. I walked out just as I had walked in, pointlessly and without a specific direction. A sudden urge inside me, one I cannot recall experiencing before pulled me toward a kitchen. There they were, all the knives stored together in an impeccably ordered way. And I felt that surge, the new one, to grab one and look for Sarah. I didn't know what I was going to do with her, or the knife, but I knew that I had to take one out, it didn't matter which one, and find her. It was like there was a string starting in my chest and pulling me forward: first toward the knives and then toward her. The weird things was that I didn't even know where Sarah was. She was just that girl who came by to meet Becca yesterday. We said hi, and then they hid in Becca's room and did whatever teenage girls usually do when they are together. I wasn't allowed in. I didn't do what they did, and I didn't know Sarah. I only said hi to her.

And yet I was walking. My feet worked fast, doing exactly what feet were designed to do, moving me, transporting me, without a navigation system on. Or maybe with one of their own that I wasn't allowed to understand. I had the knife, and I walked. I went out, and people started looking at me oddly. Those were people I knew, people I may even want to hurt, but the blade didn't pull me towards them; it pulled me towards Sarah. And I walked. I thought someone might call the police or come take me on himself, as I'm not that big and without the knife I wouldn't be scary-looking, but nobody did either thing. They just watched. And I walked on.

I found Sarah's house, and knew it was hers even though I had never been there. I didn't know Sarah. I only said hi to her. I knocked on the door and for a moment wondered if she lived alone or if her Hulk of a father would open instead of her and beat the crap out of me. She opened. Then we just stood there, neither of us moving. I thought she should look afraid, but she only looked at me dully. Or maybe that was her scared face, I don't know. I know know Sarah. But we just stood there until it got dark. There was not pull from the knife anymore and I didn't know what that meant. When I had first picked it up, I thought I was going to kill her. I don't know why I would have killed her - I didn't know Sarah - but I thought I was going to. But then the pull stopped and I wondered if it wasn't a divine sign that she was the one... what? The one for me? The love of my life? I needed to pee. It happened so suddenly - I was standing there, and then out of nowhere my bladder was going to burst. I said hi to her - again - and waited for her response. She said hi and I walked into her house automatically navigating to the bathroom.

Then I left and I went to sleep because I was tired. But I hadn't done anything all day with the exception of trying to kill Sarah. I don't know if anyone is at home. I woke up ten minutes ago and it was fourteen past three, so I couldn't be bothered checking. Mom and Dad are probably sleeping anyway. Becca is probably doing her homework or whatever else teenage girls do when they are alone.

These things keep happening. Like that freak accident last week and the fire. Things just happen, out of nowhere. You walk, and a baby falls into your hands. And there it is - all yours and all dependent on you. You go out, you need to pee, and you get locked inside the restroom, so by the time you get out all your friends are gone because they got sleepy. But nobody would look for you. People don't notice you. Or anybody, really - they just walk about doing random stuff without any point to it. And they don't know why they do it. The freakiest thing was the pool ladder. What the hell was that?? Becca was swimming and then the ladder disappeared. She kept swimming and swimming, not noticing at all, until she was dead tired. And then it just popper back in again only so that she could get out and pass out on the pavement beside it. She doesn't remember it though. She went swimming again today.

Some really weird things happen round here. I might move town soon. But first, let me order a pizza.

Book Review: Petty God by Kaur Kender

Petty God is by far one of the most abstract books that I have read. With strong extended metaphors derived from the Bible this books offers a much more modern read of this ancient text. Separately the characters and situations described, even though extraordinarily written, are not outstanding; combined, however, all the stories tie up to an excellent piece of philosophical literature. In my opinion, even though the book itself is not strictly philosophical, a more careful read of it might be an eye-opener, as it encompasses so many different aspects of one’s life. Being written by Estonian writer Kaur Kender the book offers a fresh perspective on life and all the little bits and pieces that influence us daily, exploring both the psychological and the external factors that can change our lives. 

Short Story: Free Flight

                The alarm clock buzzed with a sense of hysteria in its scratchy voice. It was five in the morning, and the sun wasn’t out. It was dark and cold and lonely, and not a single soul was awake at that time. Except for me.

                There was an edge to which I clung that morning, and to which I had been hanging for so long. It was like the edge of a cliff with an eternal abyss beneath it. And the sunsets were beautiful to watch from there, with your legs hanging free into the cool afternoon air. And she and I held hands there sometimes, and sat, and talked, and had picnics even. And it was perfect.

                The void was there, though, deep and endless and gaping at us with its lack of teeth. The wide opening you irrationally wish to jump into when standing too close. I didn’t. My head went dizzy, and the world swirled in ways I couldn’t even begin to imagine, and she swirled along with it like a graceful ballerina or a falling autumn leaf. I didn’t jump, but I started falling. I slipped, I stumbled or I was pushed. Does it matter really? I had thought about the fall for a while then, not when she was around but all the other time, the solitary time, the lonely time when I felt little and tiny in the face of the earth and the world and the universe, and absolutely insignificant to the vast void.

                I had imagined it to be something more, the falling bit. I thought when it happened, because we all knew it was going to happen, that it would be faster. I imagined the fear and my heartbeat escalating in unison, and then the flight. The flight was supposed to be epic. The hole was so deep that I was to have my few seconds of utter despair and total understanding  and sweet acceptance, and maybe even happiness of dying in the mouth of the mightiest of monsters.

                That was what was supposed to happen. But there was an animal inside me, an ape clinging to life harder than any human will to die. And the animal grasped the edge of the cliff in the split long second of shock and begged disgustingly for alms. I wanted to let go, but it didn’t, and she was gone from there, too scared, or amused, and there was nobody to catch my hand, and only the fingers of the thing held on.

                I was stuck on the edge, and it was stuck inside me. It was sharp and rough and pointless, but everything else was simply death.

                I woke up at five when the world was still sleeping. I woke up at five every morning and my soul was asleep. And I grasped to the edge because it was all I had. My hold on it tight, and tighter when I rode the metro to the gas station and when I took my spot behind the counter. My knuckles went white every time some idiot yelled or shouted or threatened. Although I liked it when they threatened – they believed so hard that there was something else they could take away from me, as if there was anything else that could hurt me. It was amusing, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would perhaps make me let go a little and give my sticky fingers a run for their money. But generally, I held tighter. And tighter I held when I walked back to the metro at half past ten at night without having seen the warmth of sun or sweetness of night all week, or all month, or even all year.

 I let go and let the animal take over when, on my way, I pass the store, the one that holds the abyss in a bottle. I always let the ape take control then because the human in me wants to fly.

Movie Review: Into the Wild (2007)

Don’t watch this movie. Spare yourself the time, the philosophy and the heartache. Perhaps your life would be way easier without it.

Gave up yet?

How can I convince you to do so?

This is not your typical Hollywood drama. There’s no extreme love or extreme sex or extreme violence – it would never qualify for a top story on TV or a front page in the local newspaper. This is a real story. And real stories don’t follow the rules of Hollywood. The character doesn’t magically fall in love with the pretty girl with the guitar, and she doesn’t solve all life’s problems. Mom and Dad haven’t cooked the barbeque for his glorious return, so there’s a disappointment right there. There is no groundbreaking ever saving philosophy to get you through the day, and it doesn’t end your way.

Don’t watch this movie. Seriously. It’s too dangerous. You might just end up changing some of your views on life and time and their significance. Why risk it, right?

Short Story: The Day

                        The coffee machine roared with a sudden madness. That morning it did its magic in an intolerably noisy way. Outside it was still dark and only a single window of the building was awake.  It was four, and the city was sleeping. It was four and there was an invisible storm going on at its heart. It was four, and it was too late.

                Ella stole the coffee from the machine and drained it into the sink. She had changed her mind. No one sane was to have coffee at such an awkward hour, she decided, and boiled some tea instead. She took out a coke from the fridge, poured it into a long glass and put a straw in it. It looked real fancy that way. The tea sang from the kettle that it was ready. She put it next to the coke and considered mixing them together. She still couldn’t decide if sane, how sane exactly she was that morning… night… whatever.

                She poured them too to waste and started washing the cups and glasses. And some dishes along the way. Just to make sure everything was clean. Clean was nice. So she decided to take down her curtains and wash them as well. He liked smoking in her room, and the smoke left such a disgustingly distinctive smell on everything. She had got to rid herself from the smell.

                It was four, and she was awake, and she didn’t know what to do. It was such an annoyingly awkward hour. She was sick of both sleeping and being awake, and there was nothing to do except for cleaning that empty place. She considered crying for a bit or taking a shower. Perhaps both would do. But then she decided she was fed up with that as well, and went back to being so thoroughly and utterly bored at the nothingness going on around her.

                There was nothing happening at four o’clock.

                She took out the little pills that resided in her purse always and thought of the daily dose. She wondered if she was to lock herself in that tiny apartment, if they would last a week having to take four of them daily. And what would happen if at one point she just didn’t.

                She had actually considered that idea before. Stopping them. The pills. Those, the ones nobody knew about. The ones, which you don’t get with a prescription. The ‘happy pills’, as she imagined he would call them. She wondered why they didn’t work against that horrible boredom.

                Ella counted them carefully three times and calculated the time she had left with them. If she was to lock herself right now and always took her daily dose precisely, they would last exactly nine and a half days. She didn’t know how much food she had or bottled water, but she had counted every pill and that made her happy.

                Then she considered dropping them down the drain too, or in the toiler perhaps, one by one, counting them again. She imagined what life would be like now without them. Maybe she would fall into one of those so adorable on TV and terrible in real life little depressions that people worry about at first and then totally forget until one ended in a bathtub with slit wrists or a turned on hair dryer. And then everyone discusses how they could have never seen it coming. Or that they did but didn’t know what to do.

Maybe if she did that, if she got herself one of those nice little depressions, he would come to investigate too. Maybe he would sit on her sofa and light up a cigarette, and talk random nonsense until he felt out of place and at last left her alone. She didn’t like seeing him that way. Maybe he would ask her what is wrong, and then she was to tell him the truth or at least lie straight to his face. Maybe he would even hug her then, the way he used to back then.

                Or maybe he was to knock on her door with his girlfriend hung at his hand. Good thing her door was to be locked then.

                “It’s horrifying,” she thought and a cold shiver went down her spine. “One day I’ll die, and he’ll never know I loved him. There will be no one to tell him. It would be like it never happened.

“One day I’ll die… and he won’t even know…”

                No, she decided. A depression would not do. It could go either way.

                She looked at the pills again. She emptied the box on the table and got them in a straight line like soldiers. Ready… Set…

Fire!

***

It was five in the morning, and a phone roared with a sudden madness.

                “I’m sorry,” the message read, “it just felt like the right kind of day.”

Essay: The Importance of Disadvantaged Youth in the Future Development of Our Global Community

* Awarded by the Gulen Institute Youth Platform (http://www.gulenyouthplatform.org/) as one of the top 30 essays for 2014

  The definition of disadvantaged youth includes all children at or below eighteen years of age who are high-school dropouts, orphaned, homeless or living in poverty. It refers to all the children that are not considered to have the same educational and career opportunities as their peers due to geographical remoteness, disparities in wealth in demographic ethnic minorities, linguistic issues as well as but not limited to special educational needs. This very definition portrays them as a disabled and incompetent burden to society that has to be dealt with.  

                According to the social approach of psychology people build up their character and behavior based on their interactions with other people. Growing up to be healthy, ambitious and prosperous members of society sometimes proves to be difficult even for children who have been raised in loving and caring families; it is hard to imagine how much more difficult this process could be for somebody who is used to everyone looking down on him and categorizing him as “disadvantaged”. Perhaps one of the first steps towards creating more positive attitudes within the young people from any background is not labeling them and putting them into groups – an act which, in itself, diminishes their personal confidence. We live in a world which preaches equality; however, to paraphrase George Orwell, some seem to be more equal than others. Organizations that take up the responsibility of educating young people should make sure to treat everyone equally. This means that "disadvantaged" children should not be looked down on for coming from a more troubled background as compared to their peers, but they should also not be given excuses for not doing the work required. All children need to be educated to understand that the responsibility for their future is entirely theirs. Fortunately the world has changed dramatically in the past century and in most developing countries it is less and less important what family one comes from – success comes at one’s own merit, and therefore people of all backgrounds have the opportunity to lead a successful life. It seems though that not everybody knows this. Education should by all means be an advocate of this tendency and should make it known to everybody. 

                Discouragement is extremely dangerous among students of all ages and backgrounds. In his speech for Zeitgeist Americas 2013 Malcolm Gladwell summarizes the effects of competition within the classroom and the effects of not being at the top of the class. Using statistics Gladwell shows that students who go to elite educational institutions (like Harvard for example) but are not at the top of their class are doing worse than almost anyone else who doesn’t go to such elite institutions but is at the top of their class. This would illustrate that competition has a huge impact on a student’s motivation to study hard and do his work well. Going back to the point about equality, educators need to make sure that a child is not put at a disadvantage (is not considered to be at the bottom or anywhere under the top of his class) just for coming from a troubled background. The effects of this would be limiting this child’s potential and increasing the feeling of inferiority in comparison to his peers; this may result in lack of motivation to study, an earlier drop-out from education, a worse job or even taking the path of crime. 

                However, a counter point can be made as to whether “disadvantaged” children should really be treated absolutely equally. A nurturing environment is almost certainly required for the upbringing of a healthy child which would grow up to be a well-rounded member of the society. The children considered as “disadvantaged” are often deprived of the happy home and/or the caring parents required in the formula. Therefore a fully equal educational environment would still not be completely fair and supporting for these children. One of the many roles of the nurturing family is to teach the child to believe and respect himself, to find their strengths and interests and pursue them. The state is responsible for all the citizens living within its borders and should therefore make sure that all children receive “education” in self-respect. In the cases of disadvantaged youth concerning orphaned children and children coming from troubled families the state needs to fill in the “educational” gap and make sure that every child discovers his talents and interests and has the opportunities to make the most of them. On this issue the state and non-profit organizations can unite efforts towards creating programs for teacher training and school counseling. 

Currently functioning non-profit organizations in the United States and abroad like Orphaned Starfish Foundation (OSF), Orphans International Worldwide (OIWW), J. Luce Foundation, Afghan Child Education and Care Organization, and CharityHelp International (CHI) all agree that “education is the way out [of poverty]” (Andrew Stein, American Democratic politician). However, disadvantaged children are often deprived of capital assets, such as computers, textbooks and books, which may be another factor to stop them from fulfilling their potential. Investments in public computer labs and libraries should be a priority so as to give every child equal opportunities to learn and grow. In many countries orphaned children have little, if any, opportunity to obtain an education or training that would enable them to become independent, contributing members of their society, so providing even basic schools and work-oriented courses is a very important step towards integrating these children and giving them the opportunities every citizen of the world should have.

                 Disadvantaged youth also refers to students who have dropped out of high school and/or those who have not continued their education in a college or university. This is a huge problem in society, as the number of people who haven’t finished their secondary studies is increasing. This may turn out to be an economic disaster, as it will lead to lowering the quality of services and significantly slowing down technological and scientific growth. The share of jobs in the U.S. economy needing a college degree will increase to 63 percent in the next decade. This will require 22 million new employees with college degrees. At the current pace, the nation will fall at least 3 million college degrees short (A. Carnevale, N. Smith, and J. Strohl, Help Wanted: Projections of Jobs and Economic Requirements Through 2018 (Washington, DC: Georgetown Center on Education and the Workforce, 2010). Globally, organizations like UNESCO are working to provide quality basic education. In their program Education for All they aim to achieve six set goals, one of which is Ensuring that the learning needs of all young people and adults are met through equitable access to appropriate learning and life-skills programmes. On a personal level, a lack of education means lowered job opportunities, and even if the student manages to find a job, it will usually be less well paid in comparison to the job a university graduate is almost certain to have. For example, in the United States of America nearly 44 percent of dropouts under age 24 are jobless, and the unemployment rate of high school dropouts older than 25 is more than three times that of college graduates (United States Department of Labor, 2012). Furthermore, this creates more than just economic issues. The health of a typical high school dropout, by age 18, is similar to that of a more educated person in his 40s (College Board Advocacy & Policy Center, 2010). Moreover, disadvantaged youth in this case creates the risk of triggering a chain reaction, as if a drop-out doesn’t manage to find a good job and/or turns to crime, his children would most probably live in poverty and/or become orphaned or homeless, thus becoming disadvantaged as well and entering a vicious circle. Realizing the importance of increasing the continuity and quality of education Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-MI), Senators Al Franken (D-MN), Sherrod Brown (D-OH) and Representative Dale Kildee have passed the Reengaging Americans In Serious Education by Uniting Programs (RAISE UP)Act which would provide pathways for disadvantaged youth to graduate from secondary school, attain a postsecondary credential, and secure family-supporting career by integrating essential, and often disparate, education, workforce, social services and supports. 

                However, in order to deal with the problem, one must understand its origins. The number of educational drop-outs is increasing possibly because there is no guarantee that once one finishes high-school or college one will get the job one has been studying for. This results in a lack of motivation. When the question is posed so that one has to choose between instant (low) income and possible (high but not guaranteed) income later, many choose the former option not realizing the long-term consequences of this short-term decision. 

                There are several approaches towards solving this problem. One way is for non-profit organizations working with big employers to create programs which could guarantee college graduates a well-paid job after graduation. For high-school drop-outs career-oriented training could be offered, so that everybody gets an equal opportunity of finding a wage-sustaining job. With combined efforts, the state and non-profit organizations through advertising campaigns can work towards making early drop-outs from education a taboo among youngsters. The state can also contribute to the solution, as it can increase the minimum age for quitting education or impose a percentage supplement to the wage of every student with a high-school diploma up until a certain age. Most important, however, are investments in teacher-training, as very often the teacher is the one creating attitudes towards education; a good teacher will be able to trigger the student’s interest and curiosity thus making a sudent continue his studies for his love of knowledge. 

                So what should be the role of the state and the non-government organizations in the process of teaching self-respect and love for knowledge? In many cases concerning disadvantaged youth the state is responsible for taking care of the children considered in this category, which means securing that they would receive from the government the things other children receive from their families. This means that the state must support their personal growth and development in all ways possible, as the “disadvantaged youth” should not be viewed as a burden to society but as future independent members of society and the key to future prosperity. Increasing the funding of state schools in order to improve the quality of education, the material base of the schools, the training of the teachers and the availability of counseling services for each student is one way the state can help disadvantaged children find out their interests and realize their potentials so as not to feel underestimated in any way by society. Advertising campaigns towards raising awareness and educating more people in understanding the potential of every child, disadvantaged or not, should help teachers in their efforts to achieve equality in the classroom and stop disadvantaged children from feeling inferior to their peers because of their background. Equality of opportunities needs to be achieved, so as to limit the importance of the family background in determining the future of the child. However, the state may not have all the funding to finance such an educational revolution. Non-profit organizations should work to provide the disadvantaged youth with what the state does not have the funding to provide. In some cases this could be better school material base (libraries and computers), in others it could be teacher-training, or career-oriented courses, or work placement for high-school or college graduates. In any case, the role of the state and the non-profit organizations cannot be limited to simply one definition – it has to evolve and change according to the needs of the society. But one thing should be kept in mind: as Richard Morgan, UNICEF’s senior adviser on the post-2015 development agenda, said “Children and young people are the makers of a future sustainable world and measures of their progress will also be the markers of that world.” This suggests viewing every child as a precious opportunity to make our world a better place to live.